10 things I've learned from my previous job...

I am recycling my note written March of last year, when I resigned as a clinical instructor.

I wrote this with full emotions and this was the very controversial note that was supposedly an evidence for a lawsuit for me. 

Seriously now, I'm telling the proponent of that case, you are funny.

Read along as I share you to  my heart-broken me...

It has been a week or two before I, together with my partner tendered our resignation to the school that has given us the opportunity to touch the lives of our students who amazingly shown us great love and even the desire to be like our selves. 

I would not care who the hell are these kids if I was working in a fast food or call center or architect or whatever job I could think of aside from being a teacher and educator, a professor, a clinical instructor, a mentor, a-whatever-else-we-call-it. Plain and simple I am Miss Joya Genzola, sometimes mistakenly spelled as Gensola. 

Two years ago, when I came back to my kennel and decided to teach, I have this huge tarpaulin in front of the gate which I so proudly shown to my visiting friends and even to the charming Phil Younghusband that year. 

I remember introducing myself to my first class such that, "I am.... and at the end of the spill I say,'ang babaeng hindi napapagod sa kakasabit sa pader, at gate...'" But what has really happened to that girl who was hanging on the walls? Was she there hanging or hung? 

Apparently, in the strange work of the stars, she is now facing the computer fervently writing the words she wanted to express after her much anticipated career as Miss Joya will reach its denouement. 

Let me share now the TOP TEN THINGS I HAD (gained or lost) in my two years of stay in the cave that has brought out the human and the monster in me. 

1. Top of the list of course is the friendship and family-hoodI had cultivated with my Iloy-Rex Yangco; my bestfriend-Iril Ian Rollo; my alter ego-Dirk Darren Ormeo; my ateh-Plaridel Tison and to this recent year, our bunso- Niel Sulles(Spears)ta. 

I would not exchange any of our moments to any amount life will give me. To our Friday Imay's or Enting's eating and leigh'buch sessions, the videoke we had each time Iril is celebrating his birthday, our drinking and quiz bee sessions and talks about sensible things even if we are under alcohol(rooted from that instance when we overheard socialite girls talk about nonsense things in KFC).. and of course all our gimmicks in and out of the island just to get away from the stress that we encounter. I will always miss the times we all have to say the words 'stretcher' and 'wheelchair'. 

2. Second best thing is the fact that I got to buy at least a dozen of shoes by staying there for two years. It's non negotiable. However, if my daughter asks me a lesson I've learned from my first job, that will be: "Don't buy a lot of shoes, save your money. I will buy you shoes instead hija..."

3. Third best thing is that I have known a lot of friends outside the college I belonged to. To my dear Dir. Lily Ann Baldago, for the love and generosity she shows me and Daniel each time we meet. To Madam Serena Toledano for listening and telling me to refine my posts. To Prof. Cecil Manikan for that 5 day whole brain activity and the strength to tell us something is wrong with us as a group, and of course that anima thing you let us experienced which started everything between me and Daniel (wink). To Father Noel Cogasa, for listening and communicating my cry, that finished the segment of my career as a sister. To my neighbor and mentor, Sir Lloyd for enjoying the time we chit-chat and made silly comments over someone's fashion faux pas (ka bad sa aton) , to the very few clinical instructors (Sir Tan, Miss Jimenez, Miss Castillon, Miss Aguirre)  whom I have known better and I admire, thank you for the pride of working side by side with you. To all the other special people whom I will not name because it will spread like wild fire - you know who you are, thank you. 

4. CYBER-BULLYING. This may come as a surprise to a lot but little did everybody know that I was cyber bullied by my own students due to some rigmarole things. I will mention you not because you deserve the space but because I am telling you that I will pray for you because I know you are just victims of the world and that you lack love. Obviously, as a nurse we have to be self aware and I think we all need to face it one day. I send you the over flowing love of a sister to those who are in need. Goodluck this year of the metal rabbit. I will  just sleep and laugh.

5. The various characters of CHERRY PIE PICACHU, THE AMERICAS NEXT TOP MODEL, CALLA LILY, THE LOVE STORY OF A CERTAIN ACTOR AND POLITICIAN AND THE SEXY STAR. They are a few of the celebrities I have met in my stay here. Then who are these people... hmmm, my lips are sealed. 

6. My plus 2-inch waistline. I stayed to be in the 25th inch when I entered, now that I am coming out, I am depressed in my 27-inch waist. This leads me to a serious call for exercise and proper diet. As I teach eating disorders, I am also starting to be an example. The addition is due to the fact that I can eat voraciously now and that two cups of rice terraces are just casual. 

7. My Chaffee, Jeena, Matthew, Baby Bayds, Peter and Bryle, and to Lara, to the BSN3C of 2010, the Back Street Boys- my anaks who each time they see me plants a kiss on my cheeks, thank you for the love and joy you gave me. I am truly proud of you all.

8. To every evaluation my students wrote me,  thank you for the honesty and sincerity you tell me because as what I always believed, you are my real boss and I only have to be responsible to your growth and accountable to your parents. No one else. 

9. REYNA NG MGA JEANS. I so loved jeans and I still do believe that the jeans does not in any way hinder one's capability of becoming a good teacher. Oh well, perhaps, a good professional but I will only stop wearing jeans when studies will show that denim fibers cause Alzheimers. 

10. FORTITUDE. I thought I already posses this virtue before, but I am wrong. It was just actually a make believe. For in my stay I learned and I have to say the bomb words, as a stress release for if not, I will go insane. 

a graceful exit

I leave this chapter of my life bringing with me the hundreds of days and hours I was paid to be in school and the millions of seconds I was at the reach of my students. I will leave it with a scar in my heart knowing that I am and will be hurt more in the coming days when I get to talk to my students. Nevertheless, this scar will not mean anything bad but it will be a reminder that I have survived it much more than how I expected my self to do so. I am a winner. I am such a winner.  I am happy after all I am and I will be their Miss Joya. I just hope that the two years that I have stayed will not be put to waste. Maybe, that's just it... we all have to break the ground to be able to build a new structure. 

As I pass this path, I am saying THANK YOU to all who helped me make it through. To my STUDENTS- have no fear and I loved you all. And as you always say, lapawan niyo ko.

This is Miss Ma. Joya Jimenea Genzola, your teacher - SIGNING OFF. 

Post Script

I know there is one more question lingering in your minds right now after reading.

"What happened to Sir Daniel?"

He just don't belong here and so I am not writing anything about him. One thing is for sure, as I exit, bitbit ko siya. 

*winks* 

Hey, I'm 25!

My oh my! chwentyfaiv!


On the eve of my 24th birthday last year, I didn't know what was life waiting to shower me in the remaining half of the year: 2011 was indeed the best year for me. Forget about the resignation but indeed our crazy virtue of "when God closes a door He not just opens a door but the whole rooftop, as in my case, the whole house" was true. 

My 24th year of life was nothing less than a splash into the ocean of endless possibilities. It clearly made an astounding highlight in my life as a person and a human being who never quits but moves forward. Who is hurt but grew stronger. And someone who can really walk into the gates of her home and don't give a damn on what was thrown on her but enjoy the rain - come thunder and lightning. 

It has been my practice to write about my year on the eve of my birthday and what I am looking forward to in the coming age. 

I am turning 25 a little over an hour and I am ecstatic but behind everything, there lies my fear of yeah, the quarter life! I am so honest in saying that  I'm experiencing quarter life crisis --- oh well, perhaps as an excuse but if it is taking a toll on me, it does not cripple me form doing what I want. 

Now, let me walk you into my life, on the months when I was just, just who. 

Exactly a year ago at CDO posing for the zipline.

At the airport bound for Cebu --- birthday party cancelled due to job.

All gears are good.

Birthdays with cousins.

With THE Familia Sagrada after the immersion interview.

Daniel and I with Vince on his 2nd birthday.

With Tropang Trumpo, our students.

With bestie Dirk over coffee and cake. 

YO!

The unnoticeable couple. 

With cousins at the farm house.

I was just a simple girl who lives in the midst of a lot of people. 


Everything was normal. Everything was convenient. Everything was half-crazy. And everything, I was happy.

In all of these happiness, I thank the people who are a part and those who taught me that life is crazy, that life is yeah, a box of chocolate. 

Specifically, I thank my friends who continued to know me and love me for who I am, for what I am, for what I am not and for who they thought me to be. For strengthening me as a part of a dynamic group who keeps on having fun and laughing on life as if tomorrow is the movie 2012. We are still a bunch of idealistic worrier... but most importantly, I am happy we worry, we don't do whore-ying. LOL. 

I am most importantly thankful, to whom nothing without the guidance of my Iloy Rex who is irreplaceable and the goddess; who endures and cares.  I promise that before the year ends, we'll be in a much better position.

To Dirk, for the care and protection; you know how much value I give to times spent with you.

To Ateh Lhadz, for the words no one has ever told me, I will never forget the text you sent me the day I was  robbed from the open world. For the love and support of our DanYa. 

To Maribeth who even from a distance I know is still the Beth that I know. 

To Julie who in our girlish thoughts still supports the Joya-Jose Antonio loveteam. Haha! Please do remember the amount of tears I shed in San Carlos. We never grow old, we are still those two girls who gets giddy on the sight of blue guys. 

To the whole unit of Pinoy Big Brother, from the day I auditioned till the day I got evicted, up to the very present my trust is still with you 110%. I would have not made it till the very end and I would have quit way-back into the dungeon if I was not at peace with you. My gratitude will be forever, my family will always be thankful for the protection you gave me. 

My entrance to the PBB House.

At the looban - who will ever forget?

Inside the mansion.

JOYful all over.

To my crush, Direk Lauren, you just don't know how my heart skips a beat each time I face you and each time you ask me questions so simple yet my mind grasp for appropriate terms to say. You are a gift to all of us. I thank you for the trust and the belief in me, and oh, forgive me for not knowing how to greet you coz I get all too dumb when you are around.


To Kuya, we may not have seen you but you are a big chunk in our lives. You taught us lessons our parents may not have taught us and most importantly, your voice was a soothing balm into our bothered, weakened or wounded spirits. Thank you for bringing out the best and the change necessary in our lives. 

A conversation with the men of HV.
 Slater, Carlo, Roy and Biggel - each I am thankful of.

To my dear housemates for sharing with me and all of us a part of your life. It is certainly true that our PBB journey was indeed the Alephs of our lives. Thank you for the friendship, love and gift of family. To Team High Voltage for the spirits that never waiver. Specifically to Diane, for being so courageous for all of us. To Wendy for showing that true beauty is not just skin deep but by the heart you possess. For Denniesse, for teaching me that we may not share complete similarity in choices but we can be friends forever. To Slater for indeed, we never have to loose our souls in the process.  To Carlo, for believing in all of us and for the kind of bond you gave us. And to Roy for the more-than-words friendship and joy in your creativity. 

The Chararat Girls.

In all of the process I will always be thankful for all those people who I do not know personally but whom I call friends for believing in me, shared my values and supported me all through the way. I know that I will never be able to replace all of your efforts but believe that each time I remember you, it brings tears into my eyes. You really changed my life. 


Now, I am really 25 years old, there's not turning back. 


Now, what do I really want?


I am still in the process of knowing. But one thing is for sure, I just want to regain what I have before and cultivate what I've gotten now. If there's one thing certain is that, everything that has happened are indelible and will never ever be traded for anything in the world. 


If people ask me why am I not on tv anymore. Basically the reason is that I am just fulfilling a promise I have done to a person who deserve all of my time and love. For at least in this littlest gesture I get to repay the unconditional love he gave me and for finding the solace in our relationship. I would never have experienced everything in the past year had he not shared me to the rest of the world. Bottomline, I am happy fulfilling that promise. 


Tomorrow as I wake wake up, I do not know what kind of surprise God will send me. I am looking forward and I will be ready... 


My heart is just filled with gladness that I get to live and enjoy more everyday. I learn and I love my life even more. I am contented. I wasn't asking for a lot but God overwhelms me each time. It is just a matter of time actually, wait and let God. 


Twenty-five years mean silver. It should be lustrous and glistening. So much like how each of our stars in this universe bring forth light in the vast space. 


Grazie!