Hey, I'm 25!

My oh my! chwentyfaiv!


On the eve of my 24th birthday last year, I didn't know what was life waiting to shower me in the remaining half of the year: 2011 was indeed the best year for me. Forget about the resignation but indeed our crazy virtue of "when God closes a door He not just opens a door but the whole rooftop, as in my case, the whole house" was true. 

My 24th year of life was nothing less than a splash into the ocean of endless possibilities. It clearly made an astounding highlight in my life as a person and a human being who never quits but moves forward. Who is hurt but grew stronger. And someone who can really walk into the gates of her home and don't give a damn on what was thrown on her but enjoy the rain - come thunder and lightning. 

It has been my practice to write about my year on the eve of my birthday and what I am looking forward to in the coming age. 

I am turning 25 a little over an hour and I am ecstatic but behind everything, there lies my fear of yeah, the quarter life! I am so honest in saying that  I'm experiencing quarter life crisis --- oh well, perhaps as an excuse but if it is taking a toll on me, it does not cripple me form doing what I want. 

Now, let me walk you into my life, on the months when I was just, just who. 

Exactly a year ago at CDO posing for the zipline.

At the airport bound for Cebu --- birthday party cancelled due to job.

All gears are good.

Birthdays with cousins.

With THE Familia Sagrada after the immersion interview.

Daniel and I with Vince on his 2nd birthday.

With Tropang Trumpo, our students.

With bestie Dirk over coffee and cake. 

YO!

The unnoticeable couple. 

With cousins at the farm house.

I was just a simple girl who lives in the midst of a lot of people. 


Everything was normal. Everything was convenient. Everything was half-crazy. And everything, I was happy.

In all of these happiness, I thank the people who are a part and those who taught me that life is crazy, that life is yeah, a box of chocolate. 

Specifically, I thank my friends who continued to know me and love me for who I am, for what I am, for what I am not and for who they thought me to be. For strengthening me as a part of a dynamic group who keeps on having fun and laughing on life as if tomorrow is the movie 2012. We are still a bunch of idealistic worrier... but most importantly, I am happy we worry, we don't do whore-ying. LOL. 

I am most importantly thankful, to whom nothing without the guidance of my Iloy Rex who is irreplaceable and the goddess; who endures and cares.  I promise that before the year ends, we'll be in a much better position.

To Dirk, for the care and protection; you know how much value I give to times spent with you.

To Ateh Lhadz, for the words no one has ever told me, I will never forget the text you sent me the day I was  robbed from the open world. For the love and support of our DanYa. 

To Maribeth who even from a distance I know is still the Beth that I know. 

To Julie who in our girlish thoughts still supports the Joya-Jose Antonio loveteam. Haha! Please do remember the amount of tears I shed in San Carlos. We never grow old, we are still those two girls who gets giddy on the sight of blue guys. 

To the whole unit of Pinoy Big Brother, from the day I auditioned till the day I got evicted, up to the very present my trust is still with you 110%. I would have not made it till the very end and I would have quit way-back into the dungeon if I was not at peace with you. My gratitude will be forever, my family will always be thankful for the protection you gave me. 

My entrance to the PBB House.

At the looban - who will ever forget?

Inside the mansion.

JOYful all over.

To my crush, Direk Lauren, you just don't know how my heart skips a beat each time I face you and each time you ask me questions so simple yet my mind grasp for appropriate terms to say. You are a gift to all of us. I thank you for the trust and the belief in me, and oh, forgive me for not knowing how to greet you coz I get all too dumb when you are around.


To Kuya, we may not have seen you but you are a big chunk in our lives. You taught us lessons our parents may not have taught us and most importantly, your voice was a soothing balm into our bothered, weakened or wounded spirits. Thank you for bringing out the best and the change necessary in our lives. 

A conversation with the men of HV.
 Slater, Carlo, Roy and Biggel - each I am thankful of.

To my dear housemates for sharing with me and all of us a part of your life. It is certainly true that our PBB journey was indeed the Alephs of our lives. Thank you for the friendship, love and gift of family. To Team High Voltage for the spirits that never waiver. Specifically to Diane, for being so courageous for all of us. To Wendy for showing that true beauty is not just skin deep but by the heart you possess. For Denniesse, for teaching me that we may not share complete similarity in choices but we can be friends forever. To Slater for indeed, we never have to loose our souls in the process.  To Carlo, for believing in all of us and for the kind of bond you gave us. And to Roy for the more-than-words friendship and joy in your creativity. 

The Chararat Girls.

In all of the process I will always be thankful for all those people who I do not know personally but whom I call friends for believing in me, shared my values and supported me all through the way. I know that I will never be able to replace all of your efforts but believe that each time I remember you, it brings tears into my eyes. You really changed my life. 


Now, I am really 25 years old, there's not turning back. 


Now, what do I really want?


I am still in the process of knowing. But one thing is for sure, I just want to regain what I have before and cultivate what I've gotten now. If there's one thing certain is that, everything that has happened are indelible and will never ever be traded for anything in the world. 


If people ask me why am I not on tv anymore. Basically the reason is that I am just fulfilling a promise I have done to a person who deserve all of my time and love. For at least in this littlest gesture I get to repay the unconditional love he gave me and for finding the solace in our relationship. I would never have experienced everything in the past year had he not shared me to the rest of the world. Bottomline, I am happy fulfilling that promise. 


Tomorrow as I wake wake up, I do not know what kind of surprise God will send me. I am looking forward and I will be ready... 


My heart is just filled with gladness that I get to live and enjoy more everyday. I learn and I love my life even more. I am contented. I wasn't asking for a lot but God overwhelms me each time. It is just a matter of time actually, wait and let God. 


Twenty-five years mean silver. It should be lustrous and glistening. So much like how each of our stars in this universe bring forth light in the vast space. 


Grazie!